Well, school is upon us. Two weeks, just two weeks. Excuse me for a moment…
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, I’m fine. I’m partway looking forward to it, and partway dreading it. I don’t know anyone. None of my friends applied to my high school, so I’m going to be surrounded by complete and utter strangers. Fun. I’ll make some friends though… I hope. Okay, I’m going to cut off this train of thought. I refuse to panic. For the moment.
So now I will contemplate yet another thought that keeps me up at night. Change (no, not the money type). What is it about change? What makes new things so hard to accept? What is it about us that makes constancy in our lives so comforting? Even when a certain change is for the better, what makes it so hard to relax into that change and welcome it? What does it take? Courage? Acceptance? But then, why are those so hard to find? Does it require letting go of whatever the change replaces?
It probably takes all of them, and lots more.
It probably depends on the circumstances.
It probably gets easier to accept change the more times you’ve done it before.
Growing, learning, changing.
Living.
Because change, whether anyone likes it or not, is a part of life. Which is why it seems odd that we’re so bad at adapting to it. We can’t avoid it, it’s constant, it seems like the type of thing humankind would have learned to deal with by now. What makes us feel so unsafe when something changes? Even if we were expecting the change, it still throws us off kilter. It takes us time to get adjusted to it. And don’t even get me started on things that we don’t expect.
But I was wondering if there was a way to make it easier. Meditation? More change? Would it be better to not think about it and let everything get processed subconsciously, or to actively try to adapt to the situation every day? I’m not talking about just switching schools. I’m talking about all types of change: moving to a new house, or your parents getting divorced, or someone moving away, or thinking you knew someone and then finding out that you didn’t. Or getting a dog, or having a new baby brother or sister. How do our brains deal with it? Why do we have to “deal” with these changes at all? No one freaks out if they paint their bedroom a new color or a desk in a classroom gets moved. What is it about change that sets off something in our brains that feels so similar to danger? These things aren’t life threatening, not even close.
Urgh, this is just like trying to figure out talents. Maybe I should visit the library and see if they have a book on it. Hey, if I found a book all about how talents work, why not this? Okay, on to something less frustrating.
I’m contemplating doing a rewrite of Robin Hood, just for the fun of it. Of course, I’ve got plenty of other stories to work on, but what the heck. What’s one more? It’ll be fun. I went to the dentist today, and it wasn’t very pleasant. It’s a very odd sensation to have a part of your cheek the size of a quarter be completely numb for a few hours. Thoroughly and distinctly odd, I tell you. I’ve been rereading Harry Potter, I read Graceling, and a few other books. I finally saw my step-siblings again after about a month, and I finally got a library card for the town I live in. I’ve been using the county library system, but the closest county library is thirty minutes away by bike and the closest town library is five minutes away by foot if I’m at my Mom’s house. I love my library card. So, yeah, I think that’s about it.
Be the change you wish to see in the world. – Mahatma Ghandi
Hugs and Cookies,
Mara
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