This is my pet rock. Its name is Sir Elbowy Monstrata. I’m not quite sure why it’s “Sir,” though, because Elbowy told me they don’t identify with gender binaries. I asked if all rocks were like that, but they didn’t answer. They just went off on a spiel about how Wagner was the most definitive composer of his time.
Elbowy is an aspiring opera singer. They have a very nice voice, too. According to Elbowy’s demonstrated range, and multiple google searches, it appears that Elbowy is a coloratura soprano, the highest voice in any operatic arrangement. Not quite what you’d expect from a rock. It’s pleasant to listen to, but sometimes I have to wear earplugs when Elbowy goes into their highest register while practicing. Overall, though, having a pet rock who’s aspiring to join the opera is kinda fun.
Why is it in a cage, you ask? Oh, well that’s simple. Once, when Elbowy was practicing a particularly high song, the cat got annoyed and started meowing to try and drown out all the high-pitched noises. And Elbowy tried to eat him. Now, I’m all for pet freedom, but I didn’t like the idea of my cat being eaten by a rock, and I also didn’t like the idea of abandoning Elbowy outside. Elbowy is a very sensitive rock, after all. So we compromised on the cage.
Elbowy doesn’t seem to mind, since they can drape operatic scores over the bird perch.
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