Welcome to your friendly neighborhood Post Office, Middle-of-the-Forest Branch! Yes, we know we’re in a tree. And we’re your local branch. The pun was unintended, or so we hope.
Here at the Post Office, we do our very best to make sure that your mail gets where it needs to go, when it needs to go there! (Within reason. Please read the fine print; you can locate it on the roots.) We have a grand and illustrious history of serving all the woodland creatures, and we even have signed post cards from the likes of Alice in Wonderland, Mr. Toad, and Little Red Riding Hood, along with more minor celebrities like the Box Creatures and the Grumpy Mushroom. So rest assured that your mail is in good hands!
Please pardon our moss, but we’re undergoing a bit of a renovation at the moment. Don’t worry, we’re still open during construction! Our hours are just as they always were — sunrise to sunset every eighth day, with observance of all local holidays. If your letter is urgent and cannot await the next post cycle, feel free to contact the Carrier Pigeons directly at their home address. They’re a bit mercenary, but we try to forgive them for it. And as long as they give priority to the Post Office, it all works out fine. For packages of great import, though, we suggest the Owls. But only for night-time delivery.
Oh, but we can’t mail that today. It’s a local holiday — the Anniversary of Hansel and Gretel’s Escape! We always build a commemorative gingerbread house, and the entire forest pitches in to help. We must play an active role in the community, you know, or we wouldn’t be a friendly neighborhood Post Office! We’re very sorry, but you’ll have to bribe the pigeons instead. Best of luck.
Leave a Reply