I Wrote A Book!

Good morning, friends! This is going to be a long post. You’ve been warned.

As of two days ago, on Saturday, November 17th, at 5:45am, I finished writing a novel! (Before you ask, no, I did not wake up at 4:00am like some crazed tech CEO to write my book. I wrote through the night like the creative vampire that I am, because circadian rhythms are a lie.)

It doesn’t quite feel real. The Boyfriend can attest to the fact that I’ve been saying “I wrote a book!” at random intervals over the last 48 hours, just to reassure myself that it happened.

Example #1

The Boyfriend: Good morning!

Me: I wrote a book!

Example #2

The Boyfriend: What do you want to do about dinner?

Me: I wrote a book!

Example #3

The Boyfriend: What’re you thinking about?

Me: I WROTE A BOOK!

I think it’ll wear off in a few days and I’ll be able to hold a conversation like a normal person again. But in the meantime, I’m greatly enjoying it.

It’s difficult to even begin to explain what writing a novel, from start to finish, actually means to me. I’ve been determined to write a book for ages. Since I was nine or ten, at least. It’s no exaggeration to say that my New Year’s resolutions and birthday wishes for the last ten years have all revolved around writing a book. And a lot of my personal identity and self esteem have revolved around it, too, for better or worse.

I’ve written so many blog posts about writing a novel, or planning to write a novel, or how I want to write a novel, or scheduling out when I’m going to write a novel. So this blog post, too, feels like a milestone. I’m trying not to overthink it. But I wish I could go back to my younger self, writing blog posts about novel writing in high school, and tell her:

Listen, it’s going to take a while. Try to forgive yourself when it takes longer than you want it to. You’re going to injure your wrists, and panic about not being good enough, and believe there’s no way you can actually finish. But it’s going to be ok. Your wrists will get better. You’ll get over yourself. You’ll learn to put your butt in your chair and your hands on your keyboard. And you’ll write a book.

I asked Camille what it was like for her, when she first finished a novel. And what she told me made a lot of sense. She said that the main emotion she felt, more than anything else, was relief. A few days in, and I’d have to say that I agree. As the shock and excitement are slowly wearing off, that’s the emotion that’s left.

The thing that I’ve always said I would do is done. And not only is it done, but now that I’ve done it once, I know that I can do it again. Never again will I have to wonder if I can write a novel.

That’s a huge relief. I don’t think we talk about this very much, but if you want something for a very long time, particularly since childhood, then it can get twisted up with your sense of self-worth. And while you can figure out how to separate it out… honestly, it’s easier and more rewarding to just go do the thing you’ve wanted for so long.

I’ve made sure to celebrate, too! (Camille told me to, and it’s definitely helping the accomplishment to sink in.) The Boyfriend and I went out for celebratory ramen, and had celebratory champagne, and I bought myself a couple of celebratory writer things. They’re mostly practical: a large notebook, the Writer’s Digest novel market guide for 2019, and a book called The Anatomy of Story which I’d like to use during the revision process.

 But what I’m really excited about is my new mug! It has a Jane Austen quote on it! I told myself I’d get to buy one piece of pointless writerly merchandise when I finished my first draft, and this is what I chose. Honestly, buying the mug and the Writer’s Digest market guide were two of the biggest things that convinced me I’d actually written a book, since I was finally letting myself get them.

…And that’s all for novel-finishing thoughts today! I’ll probably write another post soon about what I learned from the process of writing a book that I wish I’d known going in, so be on the lookout for that.

As for the post-novel-writing life, I’ll be spending the next couple of weeks writing and polishing a short story. I’m not sure what it’ll be about yet, but I’m excited to have something different to work on. I also need to study for the JLPT, since I’m taking it in two weeks and I haven’t studied for it yet… time for some old-fashioned kanji cramming.

And once we hit December, I’ll print out my novel, read through it, and start the revision process. Because, if I haven’t mentioned it before…

I WROTE A BOOK!