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Hey! Have you ever had a week where you felt like your days rested on a see-saw? Well, I just had one.

I keep ending each day at high school differently. Sometimes I feel really happy and hopeful and like I made the best decision of my fifteen-year-old life by going to the school I’m going to. Sometimes I’m biting my lip and thinking don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry. And sometimes I’m just drained, with no idea what to think. Those are the three alternate endings to every single school day so far. I wish everything would just settle down so I could figure out what in the world is going on. Until then, I’m trying to keep myself from forming any solid opinions or making any big decisions, like switching to the school where most of my friends are.

The only other big news about high school is the homework. I have an average of two and a half hours of homework. Think I’m exaggerating? Oh, how I wish I was. I had four hours of homework on Thursday night. It was… bad. I’m not flipping out about it though, since I know that I’ll adjust and learn how to deal with it more efficiently, given some time. And at least I’m not bored. All my classes challenge me – some at a comfortable level, some not so comfortable.

The thing that I really don’t like about the homework load is that I have so many things that I love to do – write, read, bake, draw (or learn to), play flute, or piccolo, or piano. I’m actually wishing that I were one of those people who had only one thing they were passionate about. But I have so many things. Which means there’s a lower likelihood of my being bored, but it also means that I’m chafing at the bit when given time restrictions that mean I have to choose one activity over another. I want to do everything!!! I ended up not getting into theater because when I sat down to think about it seriously, I realized that with all the things I needed and wanted to do after school, I simply didn’t have time. I’ve never actually reached that point before. I’ve always said that if something is important, you make the time to do it. But that’s the thing – at this point, to make the time I’d either have to give up something important to me, or give up sleeping (and I’m getting the minimum amount of sleep already, thank you very much). So while theater has the potential to become something to love, I can’t afford to give it that chance. Which makes me a bit sad, but at the same time I’m fairly sure that I’ve made the right choice. Maybe I can take an acting class as an elective next year…?

Okay, that’s enough complaining about school. Oh, boo-hoo, I have too many things I like. …Is it just me, or does that sound like an almost pleasant complaint? I’d much rather have too many things to like than nothing to like. So I suppose I should just drop the subject. Erm… I’ve been listening to music today! I found this really pretty song in Japanese, and I also like the new single by Taylor Swift… and I’m seeing my friends in a week! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Sooooo… yeah. That’s about it. We had a Mass at school (school’s catholic, I’m not) so maybe I’ll share the details of that and what I think of my classes next post? Yeah, that sounds good…

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you. – Carl Sandburg

Eh… ciao?

Mara

PS sorry for using “…” so much in this post…