Dear Self,
This time last year, you were still in middle school — you still thought you wouldn’t miss your old school, you still thought you would actually update every week without missing even once, you still thought private school would be a breeze, you still thought that high school was nothing to be afraid of, and you still thought that you would actually write your novel over the summer.
Well, let me tell you something: you were wrong. About everything. But luckily, life isn’t like finals. It doesn’t matter if you got a few questions wrong, as long as you’re happy where you ended up. And guess what? You are. Where you ended up after a year is pretty great. I’m warning you, it looks really different. But that doesn’t change the fact that you stood up in front of the whole school today and accepted an award for being in the top of your class for Theology (no idea how that happened, little Ms. Unreligious). That doesn’t change the fact that you ran around like a little kid during lunch today, playing a strange, happy version of chase with C. And Sar. (why do all my friends have names that start with S???), nor does it change the fact that you laughed so hard your stomach hurt during math class. So, yeah, the view is pretty different from here… but it’s also really fun.
Now, I’m not saying that Freshman year was easy, as I’m sure you believed back when you started this blog. It’s a lot more work — a lot more homework, to be specific. There’s more stress, more pressure to do well, and less room for error. You haven’t asked for an extension on an assignment all year. And do you know why? Because the teachers here, apparently, don’t believe in them. There were also several months where you felt miserable and alone and very, very stupid for leaving your old friends to go to a new school. But even though you believed it would never happen, even though you thought it would never get better… it did. You now have two circles of wonderful, loving, wouldn’t-trade-them-for-the-world, incredible friends now. Your world expanded this year, all for the better. So when you hit the awful part, don’t worry. It’s not permanent. It never was — you just couldn’t quite see that when you were getting through the first bit.
At the beginning of this blog, you didn’t have any real idea what you were getting yourself into. You didn’t know what high school would be like. You didn’t know what blogging would really be like. You hadn’t started ballet, or realized your total love of photography. A lot of the decisions you made were stupid, rash, not thought out at all, and, essentially, idiotic. But I’m going to tell you something, Past Me: I don’t regret any of it. So make all those stupid decisions. Because the place where those idiotic decisions landed you? It’s awesome. Even with finals, even with learning physics, even with all the projects and presentations and general craziness of the end of the school year. So when you’re working through the rough part and realizing just how much of an idiot you were, remember this: It gets better. It gets a LOT better.
Sincerely,
Me
The past can’t see you, but the future is listening. ~Terri Guillemets
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